i just fucking spat all over my computer laughing
guys click it
reblog if its hard to sleep at night bc ur massive d*ck gets in the way :/ (censored for the children)
join us next week on tumblr dot com for some more quality humor!!!!
the only vine that matters
Thing happened and I wasn’t prepared for it
when i die i want to be buried wearing a pair of sunglasses so that a few decades down the line i will also be a cool skeleton
26,473 notes. 26,473 people identified with this statement. if even half that many people actually did this, can you imagine how confused future archaeologists would be
"In the end of the twenty-first century, a new grave good phenomenon spread rapidly in a global, decentralized fashion. In the relevant burials, the deceased would be buried with a pair of non-functioning spectacles fastened to their face; in many cases, the pair was anchored quite firmly into the skull (as-Sabah 2839), as though to make sure that it would not come off if the burial was disturbed.
"The significance of this grave good arrangement is unknown. The glasses vary wildly. One adolescent skeleton was found buried with a pair that chemical analyses indicate was bright pink at the time of burial and made of plastics common in twenty-first century excavations, and carved with an anthropomorphic image of a cat on one corner (Bao 2836). Another example was a finely manufactured pair, affixed with post-mortem stapling to a middle aged man’s skull, which had been plated with gold and had several small diamonds affixed, although much of the gold had come unfastened from the core in the intervening time (Jensen 2841). The main thing that all the glasses have in common is that, in contrast to the rarer, functional eyeglasses buried with a few individuals in previous years — presumably those who had used them in life, as spectacles were a common early method of vision correction (Zhang 2833) — the lenses are plain tinted glass. Their primarily function seems to have been to obscure the vision of the wearer.
"The reasoning for burying the dead with these items has been speculated on widely without much consensus. The most popular theory is that it is related to early twenty-first century cynicism; at the same time as the beginning of cynicism’s century-long dominance of serious philosophy and beginning just before the first Data War and escalating throughout it, many ceased to put faith in old religious ideas of a just world and peaceful afterlife and returned to less optimistic versions of their faiths. The glasses may have been meant to shield the wearers in the afterlife by limiting their visions and knowledge of it (Gonzoles 2840) an idea that was known to exist at the time and would develop further in the Cult of the Hammer and Cross, among other similar groups that dominated religious beliefs following the collapse of major world powers in the later half of the twenty-first century (Werlinich 2837)."
today at school a boy named miguel jumped up on the lunch table
ripped his shirt off (his chest said “be mine”)
and started playing ‘careless whisper’ on the saxophone that he pulled basically out of thin air
like you can think i’m lying, i would, but
ARE THOSE BACKUP DANCERS
Genderbent dancer au. I used to be a dancer so I have a lot of feels for this one.
#where rin goes to russia to train there because she wants to perform all over the world #and where better to train than russia #haru doesn’t really care she just likes the freedom of flying through the air #rei’s a rhythmic gymnast that nagisa recruits to their ballet club so they can meet the member requirements #rei can’t even go en pointe because she’s thinking too hard about finding her centre of balance and the perfect angle of her back #she falls over a lot #mako’s the tallest and the strongest so she does the lifts #so does rei #basically this has just descended into me wanting girl!mako and girl!haru doing a pas de deux (loquaciousescapist)
This is the greatest au add-on I have ever read, excuse me I just
I wasn’t lying
If you ever feel bad just remeber there is a gif of me floating around tumblr of when I was 8 and I sat on the escalator and knocked down a table of jewelry at macys
I was just joking with him, but the look he gave me was complete betrayal